Time, even as it flies, can go on so slowly… I honestly though I hadn’t written anything here for a month, and was stunned to see that my last post was only a little over two weeks ago. Strange, time.

I don’t want to sound gloomy… I don’t want to feel gloomy. It’s just been hard lately. There are so many things in my life right now, both good and bad, and they’re overwhelming me. I’ve bitten off more than I can chew and am gagging on the excess. But I’ll work things through… always happens.

That is what I learned today.

Arg!

Not to be dampened by a little rain, I got my camera and marched outside with an umbrella in hand. It was most awkward to walk down the path to the stream, passing under low-hanging branches and around ferns. It was only once I arrived at the stream that I realized I could not hold the camera, hold the umbrella, and zoom/focus the camera all at the same time. I tried, of course. I tried propping the umbrella up with my knees and my neck until it almost fell and let the rain get to my camera. I tried sitting on my knees on the bridge over the stream and only managed to get one very blurry photo and two very wet, muddy knees.

Frustrated, I went inside and wrote as my Facebook status:

Tip: do not try to take pictures in the rain while holding an umbrella. It just doesn’t work.

A friend of mine, who also loves photography, wrote back:

lol, learn that the hard way did you?

At least I was in a better mood after that.

That is what I learned today.

9.9%.

Please go faster.

10.1%.

10.2%

I wish I had worked on this sooner. I wish I hadn’t procrastinated when I had the chance late last year. I wish I had finished this early like I had planned, so that I wouldn’t be in such agony now, watching the percent slowly creep up… so slowly…

It’s like that ancient “Chinese water torture” – drowning drop by drop, drowning one drop at a time. It’s the slowness of it all that’s horrible… so slow, so very very slow.

10.9%.

It’s like it’s going a little faster… Already at 11 faster than it went from 9 to 10. Maybe it’s going faster. Maybe it will be finished in time. Maybe we’ll be able to watch it tonight, and nothing will go wrong.

Please go faster.

11.3%.

My fingers hurt a little. I’ve made this slideshow from scratch in Photoshop and Windows Movie Maker. On a laptop, using that little laptop “mouse” that is just a little square you run your finger across. No real mouse. That would’ve made it easier, I admit. Maybe it would’ve finished in time if I had used a mouse. I could’ve hooked up my tablet and used the mouse that came with that.

12.0%.

Faster? Is it really going faster? It really does seem like it. It’s gone further in a few minutes than it has the entire time before that… Oh please, finish up.

12.4%.

I’ll time it. When it gets to 13, I’ll tell you what time my watch says. Then I’ll time how long it takes to go from 13 to 14. And I’ll use that to estimate how long I have to go… Please go faster… please.

12.8%. 12.9%.

13.0%. 6:19 by my watch.

Please go faster. I guess just wishing it to go faster doesn’t really work, even if it does seem to be going a bit faster than it did before. It seems so slow because I’m just sitting here, watching it slowly count up… will it finish anytime soon? Please finish. Please… Please go faster.

14.0%. 6:21. And a few seconds. About 2.5 minutes per percent. Sigh… I don’t think it’s going to make it. Not going to finish in time… I can’t bear it if we have to wait longer when we’ve already waited so long. Sigh.

I guess I’ll leave now.

That is what I learned today.

That HAS to change.

That is what I learned today.

(My writing is horribly blunt right now because I’m tired.)

That is what I learned today.

My cat noticed immediately that I was “going somewhere” because I had put my shoes on; he looked at my with a sad, anxious expression on his face as if to ask, “Why are you leaving me?” My poor guy.

Despite the cold, especially on my hands (that are still frozen as I type this), I had a great deal of fun. I’m currently enrolled in Project 365, where I am supposed to take an artistic photo a day for the whole year. As an incentive to keep going, I’m going to make myself a book of all the photos – only if I complete all 365 days (though I may move that number down to 360, to make it a little easier on myself).

Looking for a creative shot was difficult. I took several photos that were practically identical to photos I’ve taken in the past; at least with my new camera, I was able to focus on exactly what I wanted to. That’s one thing – although I’ve had this camera for several weeks now, I only know how to focus on things and how to take videos… all the other countless features are a daunting adventure for “tomorrow”.

The ground was damp from the past several days of raining; the earth shifted under my weight as I wandered through dead gardens and crouched before a small tree that had been unearthed the previous winter; it’s roots were like it’s tall winter branches, twisting in every which way. I heard a strange bird call as I headed down a path toward the stream that runs through our property; I’m still not sure exactly what it was. I had only two regrets as I finished up my photo shoot and headed back indoors: that there were no flowers yet, and that it was too cold to stay out longer.

As I packed away my camera my cat ambled over to greet me, placing his paws on the chair where I had set my camera bag so that he could sniff my hand and rub his face across it. I picked him up and hugged him; he’s usually not so affectionate toward me. He’s a sociable critter though, and being alone, even for that ten or fifteen minutes, must have dragged out forever in his kitty mind.

The photos I took on my little escapade aren’t the best photos in the world; far from it. However, I like quite a few of them, and I’m happy that I was able to head outside today. It was fun, and I look forward to my next adventure.

That is what I learned today.

That is what I learned today.

I’m the type of person that when I say I’ll get something done, the odds are, I’ll do it. So when I tell my family, “I’ll finish in time for New Year’s Eve,” that’s the deadline that’s in my head, even if it’s not in theirs. I, frankly, wasted a lot of time doing things that I probably didn’t need to do, things that were fun at the time – doing artwork, watching tv shows, browsing the web, etc. Not working on this very important project until the last few days of 2009.

It was too late. Despite spending many hours, I still did not have the physical time in order to finish. I was devastated. I had promised my family, promised myself, that I would finish, and I didn’t.

But I need to forgive myself – that’s what my mom said. And though it’s hard, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to work on this project and finish it within the week. And it’s going to be great. And it doesn’t matter that I didn’t get it done when I said I would, because my family already knows they’ll like it and I know I’ll like it too.

So I can forgive myself.

That is what I learned today.

Wow. And I’m starting out the new year with a full schedule – art projects, graphic design stuff, family events, more art projects… Sigh. It’s all fun though.

I’ll be writing more soon, when I get back into the rhythm of things again. For now, a simple post like this will have to do. The day is already over. Sigh.

That is what I learned today.

Just because they can. It’s hard to create a new commitment with so many other commitments. But I think I did well, if not wonderful, with this blog. Next year hopefully I can do better.

12.31.09

…that first impressions don’t always count, no matter what that quote says.

How do I know? In January of this year, we adopted a new kitty. At the pound he was the sweetest thing; would burrow into us, seeking safety. The first day or so he was the sweetest thing, sprawling out across laps as if he were a blanket. And then the kitten in him came out, and he was such a little terror. Getting into everything, chewing on whatever he wanted to, pawing at anything that was left down. When we first got him, he was around eight months old, so we figured that we’d only have a few months of kittenhood to survive. Wrong. Dead wrong. To this day he’s still got that kitten in him, rushing at feet to chomp on, playing with whatever comes his way. He doesn’t understand that even if he thinks he’s playing, his teeth hurt. So first impression of him: cute lap baby. New impression: kitten in training.

Even that new impression is getting old – he’s starting to slowly turn back into what he was. Slowly. But he’ll get there.

10-06-09

…about blogs and how fun they can be.

Well, I’ve heard of blogs before, but it was the movie Julie and Julia that caught my interest – Hey, I could do a blog. From there it was deciding what to write about. I knew I wanted a common theme and I knew I wanted to stray away from things that were too personal. Then on an art site someone posted a watercolor of a grouse and gave a few facts about it. I commented with something along the lines of “I have learned something new today.” It was soon after this point that decided to create this blog. Ta-da!

10-06-09

…that Script Frenzy can be fun too.

Though I still prefer NaNo without a doubt.

10-06-09